Red and Blue Vs Syn and The Raging Hobo
by Kyle Gaddy
Summary: Eight men,Two teams,one robot, one woman, two new Freelancers looking to raise hell in Blood Gulch! Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

Red and Blue VS Syn and The Raging Hobo  
  
(BOLD FACE DISCLAIMER!) AGAIN I DO NOT OWN RED VS BLUE NOR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, HOWEVER THE NEWEST FREELANCERS CODE NAMED SYN AND THE RAGING HOBO ARE OF MY OWN CREATION  
  
"wait wait wait, so Tex is actually a chick?" Church nodded, which looked odd considering you could see through his helmet... and his head... and his entire body for that matter. "Yes Tucker, Tex is a woman" The private in the Teal armor bowed his head down a moment before asking "wait, then why is her name Tex?" The soldier in the blue armor put his two cents in for that one... if he can even count that high "maybe because she's half man, half woman!" Tucker recoiled at that "Ugh! God Church! You Dated A Chick That's Half Guy!?" Church wondered how he ever managed his sanity surrounded by these idiots "ugh, no Tucker, if she was half guy, I'd think I'd know about it" Caboose had another bit to put in "then maybe she's half shark" the teal armored soldier nodded "maybe, she's mean enough to be" The ghost sniper and leader of these idiots almost could swear he felt sweat beading from irritation "I can't believe I actually died for this friggin war..."  
  
Their attention was diverted away by gunshots and screams "what the hell is that?" Church stared hard into the distance, though its hard to stay serious when you're a ghost... and when your accompanied by idiots "If I knew, I wouldn't be looking" A few more gunshots sounded and Tucker turned to the ghost of their team's sniper "Well if I had that nice rifle, I could probably tell you" Simply being reminded of his sniper rifle caused Church to spin around, where a rather bad sight greeted him "Uh Tucker, you might want to turn around" When he did, he could only mutter a single thing "Aw fuck..." Caboose had the rifle, pointed towards the direction of gunshots "okay, okay okay, I see something... the five red ones are running... towards us!" Tucker suddenly felt the urge to wet himself "Oh God! Their Attacking! We're Gonna Die! We're ALL GONNA DIE!!"  
  
Church would have smacked the raving idiot if he could "Tucker, TUCKER! Calm down! The red's might not be smart but their not dumb either... well... alright their idiots but even they know it's suicide to attack us head on" Caboose stammered "Hey it's the shark lady!" Church and Tucker looked onward; they could already see the reds, and the black armored freelancer. Tucker shrieked happily "Yes! Tex Is Mopping Them Up! She's Kicking Their Asses!" Church could only stare; Tex escaped the Red base? Sure the Red's were morons but still... unless "whose that in the jeep?" Both could only stare at Caboose before Church said something "you mean some one else has their jeep?" An explosion told them so, the red's beloved warthog was speeding behind the group with two passengers, one armed with a rocket launcher. "Uh church? Did we hire any more free lancers?" They were snapped from their thoughts when a rocket exploded off the walls of their base, where Tucker and Church yelled in unison "SON OF A BITCH!"  
  
The Red's managed to crawl up the side of the cliff, hiding behind one of the larger rock out cropping. Explosions rocked them periodically as Sarge turned to his troops "Men, I won't lie to you, we're not likely to survive this" Simmons turned to them as well "In other words we're screwed" Lopez had his two bits as well... if you could understand Spanish. Grif and Donut were the last two, they simply sat there as another explosion shook their hiding place "Sir, I'm not ready to die yet" the private who was currently wetting his pink armor cried, Sarge chuckled at this "that's the spirit men, I already have a plan, Grif and Pinky, you run out there and we'll provide covering fire to distract them while you get back to base and call for reinforcements" The two nodded and began running down the slope, Simmons then turned to Sarge "are they really getting reinforcements Sarge?" "Hell no! They'll get blown to hell as we run like scared kittens with a snapping turtle hanging on their tail!"  
  
"Well? What are they doing now Tucker?" The teal armored private was gazing through the sniper rifle's scope, watching the carnage "the two free lancers have the reds pinned... wait... two of them are running out..." An explosion sounded "and now their flying... flying...... flying..." Screams slowly began to increase before the orange and pink soldiers landed with a loud thud behind Tucker. Grif groaned as Donut jumped up "Yes! We're Alive!" When Grif stood he found himself staring down the barrel of a pistol and sniper rifle, which inspired his next words "... we're screwed"  
  
Sarge, Lopez and Simmons made it to the edge of their base, where they found safety at the top "man that was weird, first that freelancer that turns out to be a chick manages to get away, then those two jackasses turn up and blast us halfway across the canyon, what is with our luck Sarge?" Lopez said something again, naturally neither of the two understood it "I don't know what you just said Lopez, but I agree with you fully, those two are the blues problem now" He stood at the edge, watching over the distance for any sign of the jeep returning to again blast them across the canyon "Sir? What about Grif and the rookie?" Sarge sighed and gazed up at the sky "their in a better place now..."  
  
"I can't believe we ended up here..." Grif and Donut were being guarded by Caboose, not the smartest decision, but seeing that Church couldn't operate the sniper rife, and the last time he had used anything using bullets to try and kill the reds he killed Church, they thought it better to have Tucker try to get a bead on the free lancers. The rockets had stopped a while ago, but none of them wanted to dare try and find out. Church glanced over to Tucker "Hey, go see if their still out there" "Me? Why don't you do it?" Church and Tucker were hidden behind the shields on the top of their base, Caboose and the two prisoners were on Church's side "Cuz I don't feel like getting blown up again!" "Why? You wouldn't feel it, your dead" Tucker couldn't see it, but he knew Church was pissed at the statement "don't remind me, besides I need to make sure Caboose doesn't shoot himself while looking after these two" Tucker sighed and growled "alright, I'll check" He slowly stepped away from the shield and began to peek over the side "What are you dumb asses doing?"  
  
Tucker squealed like a little girl as Tex came up from the stair well. The warrior princess took a spot next to Tucker as he tried to keep himself from falling over and dying from shock while she peeked over the side "Doesn't look like their firing any more, maybe their out of ammo" Church bowed his head in thought before turning to the blue rookie "Hey Caboose, go over there to Tucker and Tex" The moment he stepped out from behind the shield three bullets whizzed by his head, making him shriek like a cat being pulled by it's whiskers. Church sighed and tried to think a moment before the roar of a large machine gun began pelting their hiding place "Church, why are the nice people shooting at us with that really big gun?" Tex smacked the rookie in the back of the head causing some relief to the rest of them. "Hey Tex, do you know those guys?" Tucker's first intelligent question of the day "hell if I know, they tried to kill me along with those cock-bites out there" Church suddenly realized that their two red friends were still hiding behind him "hey, why didn't you two try to make a break for it?" Grif was the one to answer, Donut seemed to busy trying not to wet his pink armor "are you fucking nuts? Those two would kill us if we got two feet from here!"  
  
"Well Simmons? Are they reinforcements for those blue bastards?" The maroon armor clashed with the sniper rifle as he watched the jeep's gun mow down the withering base "I don't think so sir, one of them is trying to get them with that turret on the back of the jeep... but I don't see the other one" Sarge bowed his head and lifted it once again "What do you think Lopez?... Lopez?" He turned and was met with a very bad situation "ah hell..." Simmons turned and found the second black freelancer with a pistol held up to their robot's head "Man, what is with our luck today?"  
  
A/N This was made a long time ago when a friend of mine suggested making a story about two new guys entering the feud of Red Vs. Blue and just kicking the shit out of each team, he seemed to enjoy it so I decided to post it, hope for reviews! I Take Suggestions! 


	2. Chapter 2

Red

and

Blue

VS

Syn

and

The Raging Hobo

**(BOLD FACE DISCLAIMER!)**

**AGAIN I DO NOT OWN RED VS BLUE NOR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, HOWEVER THE NEWEST FREELANCERS CODE NAMED SYN AND THE RAGING HOBO ARE OF MY OWN CREATION**

"So Tex, any ideas on how to get your new friend out there to stop shooting at us?" Tucker stuttered, the pelting hot brass threatening their very existences "If he's your friend, then why is he shooting at us?" Tex only turned to the rookie and slugged him with the butt of her handgun before turning back to the rest of the team... and their two frightened 'guests' "Gee, if I knew that, I wouldn't be hiding here would I?" The bullets suddenly ceased and each of them was hesitant to even try and glance to see what had happened after Church's little show when he used Caboose as an experiment. Finally the ghost sniper looked up to the rookie "hey Caboose, go see if he's out of ammo" The blue rookie might have been dumb, but no one is that dumb "No Way! I nearly got killed last time!" Church stared at him then looked to Tex and Tucker "Will you two do the honors?"

Caboose screamed as he was thrown over the top of the base and listened as his helmet smashed into a rock. Soon his groans finished and he yelled out to them "He's not here!" Each of them waited a moment for a gunshot before Church muttered in disappointment. When they peeked over they found the jeep and its owner gone "huh, that's weird... wait... where's the tank?" Church glanced around, Tucker was right, their tank was gone "Hey Caboose! Did you take the Tank out again?!" They could really use it in this situation. However after Caboose glanced around he screamed "THEY KIDNAPPED SHEILA!!" A earth wrecking explosion followed by two screaming flying suits of armor came after the rookies scream. The last two reds slammed into the concrete at the top of the blue base, where both groaned painfully. When Sarge stood up he was faced by Grif "Sarge! Your Alive! Thank God!" The dazed leader of the reds muttered before finally speaking coherently "Grif? What are you doing here? Your dead... but that means... Ah crap berries I'm in hell" Simmons slowly stood up and glanced around "what is with us getting blown across the canyon!?"

Within an alcove deep in the canyon walls sat yet another soldier... if he could be called that "well, now that I'm here, wonder where the base is?" He stood and stared into the opening "guess I don't know until I go out and run around, I hope they have a bathroom" With that... odd incentive the pacifier-er-pedophile-I mean-Pacifist ran out of his little home and into the sun light, little did he know that at the top of the Red base a shadow was watching him through the zoom of a sniper rifle.

Caboose and Tex guarded the now four prisoners as Tucker and Church tried to figure things out... oh boy "So now instead of dealing with four red guys and a robot with a jeep we're up against two guys in black armor with a jeep AND a tank?" Church only stared off into the distance for a moment before turning to his team mate "looks that way, but we still don't know who they are or why they took the tank" Caboose had his bit to put in as well... it amazes most how some one can function so well with out the proper mental capacity "They took her against her will! God knows what their doing to my poor Sheila!" Both Church and Tucker stared at him a moment before he glanced between the two "what?" "Dude, you do know she's nothing more than an AI programmed into the tank right?"

Tucker would have been appalled by the response he got if he didn't know the rookie "She's a nice lady, she likes me" Tucker turned to Church "okay, if he says that again, I'm gonna throw up in my helmet" Sarge stepped up for his few bits in "They also got Lopez! Even now they may be using some sort of, mind control probe to make him into their willing slave!" A gunshot snapped them from their thoughts as each huddled on the edge of the base "now what?" In the distance a purple gleam shot from a figure running up the hill, it was the medic "Hello? Is this the Blue Base?" Before they could answer an explosion sent him flying head first into the wall of their base. Simmons sighed in relief "finally, some one else gets blown up"

Back at the top of the Red Base one of the dark armored soldiers lowered the rocket launcher, below the other was working on the tank, sparks flying off the large chassis every once in a while as Sheila ranted "Do not touch me, repeat, do not touch me, repeat, do not-" with a loud click the voice shut off a moment before the turret on the massive vehicle raised slightly and the AI's voice sounded again "M808B Scorpion Main Battle Tank ready for deployment under new designated user" The 'mechanic' stood up and turned to Lopez, approaching slowly as the robot muttered in Spanish. The one at the top reloaded the rifle and laid it down, gazing over the horizon chuckling.

"Okay, so its agreed, until these assholes are taken out, we're on a truce, we also agree that if Caboose annoys you reds, you have permission to shoot him" The blue rookie stared at Church "why are you so mean to me?" Tucker answered for every one "Because he hates you" Sarge nodded "right, and if Grif or pretty in pink here get on your heels... or in your shorts, you have full authority to do away with either the way you best see fit" Grif and Donut glanced at each other before turning to Sarge "Why do I get shot with the rookie?" Simmons turned and answered "because no one likes you dumb ass" Grif growled "I wasn't asking you kiss ass" "Guys, Guys! We're all friends now, we don't have to fight" Each soldier turned to the purple Medic Church finally asked "uh, who the hell are you anyway?" He blinked and stammered "oh yes, that's rude of me, my name is Duphrain, I'm the Medic by request" "Okay, there's a few things wrong with that sentence, number one, Duphrain? I can barely pronounce that, so from now on, your name is Doc, and second, Medic? That was like a month ago!" Church shouted, he was high strung, and the last thing he needed was some one he couldn't call by name.

The purple medic glanced down then looked up again "Doc? It'll never stick" "Shut it Doc, so Church, what now?" The Ghost turned and stared out into the horizon, thinking "good question..." At the red Base Lopez twitched lightly before speaking... amazingly in English "Awaiting commands from designated users Syn and Raging Hobo" The two black armored soldiers could only smile at their work... until one turned to the other "Why the hell did you choose Raging Hobo for a name?" A male voice, deep yet oddly comforting. The other turned "You ever try taking a hobo's sandwich? I've never ran so damn fast in my life" Syn nodded a bit before turning to the robot "so... what do we do with the tank and the robot?" The Raging Hobo stared and turned to Syn "why are we even here? Weren't we supposed to be stationed on some ship and shooting aliens?" Syn scoffed "what are you kidding? Fucking around with morons like this is much more entertaining"

To Be Continued

(Again, I accept any opinions!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Red and Blue **

**Vs**

**Syn and Raging Hobo**

**(BOLD FACE DISCLAIMER!)**

**AGAIN I DO NOT OWN RED VS BLUE NOR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, HOWEVER THE NEWEST FREELANCERS CODE NAMED SYN AND THE RAGING HOBO ARE OF MY OWN CREATION**

"Alright, everyone got the plan?" Church was greeted by several shakes, and with a sigh he once again explained "For the last time, we lure those two cock bites over here with two of our guys to our base, then blow the hell out of them!" They stared at him a moment before Grif and Simmons glanced at each other "What do you think?" Simmons considered it a moment before saying "I think we're getting blown across the canyon again" Tex sighed and shook her head "great idea, but what about the tank? That canopy is a bitch to get through with anything but the sniper rifle, and I think your going to need me just to deal with the fucking jeep" Caboose suddenly spasmed excitedly, which meant two things. One, he finally hit puberty (ew) or two, he had an idea "Wait, what if Church borrows some one's body, took the big sniper rifle, and shot the evil man that has Sheila!" All the blue team stared at their rookie, amazed and shocked. Tucker turned to Church "that might actually work" Church only responded with "I know..." "and Caboose said it" "I know!"

"Alright so we know what we're doing, but who's going to be stupid enough to run out there and get shot at?" Grif was the genius who said it, and near instantly all of them turned to Caboose and Donut, Caboose himself turned to Donut "why are we sending the nice lady out to die?" The pink armored rookie growled "Hey! Number one! He said two! So your going to get shot at with me! And two, I'm A Guy!" "don't fret miss, I'm sure little boy blue will gladly use you as a shield" Church had to near choke himself to keep from laughing at Sarge's comment "right, anyway, let's get into our teams, Donut and Caboose will be the bait, Simmons and Tex will stay up here with rifles, Grif and Tucker will be at that rock over there with anything they can find, me and Sarge will be up on the cliff with the sniper rifle, now every one ready?" Donut whined as he jittered "No! I'm not going out there so I can get shot at!" Sarge sighed and cocked his pistol "boy, I'm giving you to the count of three to start running before I start gunning, one" "What!? No Wait!" "Three!" A pink blur followed by bullets jumped from the top of blue base, soon followed by the blue rookie "wow Sarge, you know how to motivate people" Simmons praised "Motivate? I was actually trying to kill him, damn sights on this gun are off"

"Yo Homo" A half growl half sigh erupted from the freelancer that was currently, or was, working on Lopez "HOBO, H-O-B-O! Hobo you fucking dumbass!" Syn mocked him a bit inside his helmet "yea yea whatever, get over here we have company" The Raging Hobo stepped up beside his friend with the sniper rifle staring off into the distance "Two morons incoming, one pink and one blue" The Hobo stared forward, he could just barely make them out coming their way "I smell a trap... wait no... That's gas, yea wait no... yea I smell a trap" Syn turned to his friend a moment before shaking his head "I worry about you some times" He stared at the two rookies heading their way a moment longer "I have an idea... go get the jeep" The Hobo nodded and turned, standing a moment before turning back "Wait, what jeep?" "You know, the thing we stole from the reds, looks like a big cat" Both regarded each other a moment before speaking "what like a puma?" "Yea there you go"

Donut and Caboose stopped a few yards away from the base, just staring silently "are they there?" Caboose blinked and spoke next "Maybe its sleep time... but its not sleep time... Because yelling time comes before food time, then its sleep time... their messing up time!" The low roar of an engine caught their attention "what was that?" "A three ton death machine ready to kill us" The tank rolled out from behind the base, Caboose was shrieking happily "SHEILA! YOUR BACK!" The Tank's AI spoke as the turret trained on them "Acquiring targets, targets locked" Both rookies glanced at each other "so it's running time now?" "Yea" Both rookies made a mad dash as bullets nipped at their heels, screaming over the gunfire.

Church, now in Sarge's body stared from his perch with the large and powerful rifle in his hands "okay guys, there on their way, everybody ready?" Grif and Tucker were behind the single large rock, both with simple pistols, atop the base were Simmons and Tex with rifles "We're about as ready as five idiots with little ammo and weapons can be against a tank and a jeep with a machine gun" Church nodded as he lifted the rifle and trained it on the two rookies dashing for their lives, followed periodically by large blasts "alright ass, time to send you to hell..." He lowered the rifle a moment "wait, if I kill them then they'll become spirits... meaning they could still take over either team and still blow us to high hell..." He shrugged it off and trained the rifle again "eh, maybe we'll get lucky and they'll possess Caboose"

Simmons and Tex stared as the two rookies leapt and dashed between bullets and shells "Hey, doesn't something seem weird about the tank?" Tex glanced up a moment , her rifle still cocked and ready at her hands "Like what?" Simmons nudged the barrel of his rifle forwards "The fact no ones in it" After a moment Tex looked hard and found yes, no one was driving the tank. "Wait, so if Lopez is on the turret of your jeep, then that means..." She scanned up at the cliff face towards Church's position, where she found a shine reflected off black armor "son of a bitch"

"Huh, the weird, no ones in the tank" The sound of a gun cocking brought Church's eyes away from the sniper rifle "Son of a bitch"

To Be Continued

(I accept any opinions!)


End file.
